Challenge Yourself. Making Memories.

2010 is finally here, and if you do nothing else this year, I’d like you to try one thing which will expand your horizons, deepen your experience in life and make you more fantastic memories which will last you a life time:

Challenge yourself.

Personally this year, 2010, I decided to write a list of 100 things I wanted to do, some trivial such as dying my hair blonde, to slightly more meaningful things such as getting a job, volunteering job and a number of items designed to give me new memories so when the next new year rolls around, I’ll have soemthing positive to look back on. The challenge for me in this activity, is firstly to see whether I can actually complete all 100.  But although there are soem trivial items on the list, some of them are designed to really push me outside of myself. It is here where the best memories are made.

When a friend spoke to me a while back about all the experiences he’d had (although he’sd got a few years on me…) I felt a pang of regret; what have I been doing with my life up until now? 2010, is my year for doing all those things I want to do. Camp out, spend whole days out, in libraries and beaches, seeing what I’ll end up discovering. The mere act of writing this list has reinvoked a sense of excitement in my life: somehting to do, soemthing to build on. I have a feeling this year is going to be nothing if not interesting.

However, your means of challenging yourself may not be the same as mine. I also wrote new years resolutions (list of 100 things and resolutions found below ) I used to find resolutions a little too unclear: too easily break able. You could instead Pick one thing you want to o, improve or experience this year. Whatever it is you decide to do, make sure it takes you out of your comfort zone, where you can fully experince what it eans to be alive.

Like I said for me, the list is more about making memories, something I feel I’m distinctly lacking in. Challenge yourself to do somehting new, brave, and most of all make it fun

100 TINGS TO DO IN 2010:

1. Get a job.[ ]
2.Get a volunteering job.[ ]
3.Learn to cook better.[ ]
4.Fill a sketchbook.[ ]
5.Join Something new.[ ]
6.Make it down to ideal weight, which will not be written here![ ]
7.Fill a cookbook full of recipies that I can actually cook![ ]
8.Climb Dumyat.[ ]
9.Go to Wallace Monument.[ ]
10.Buy an Xbox 360.[ !!! ]
11.Get a new piercing.[ ]
12.Finsih all my video games, once and for all![ ]
13.Fill a photo album with happy memories.[ ]
14. Go on a decent holiday.[ ]
15. Make a “going to Japan” plan.[ ]
16.Begin to learn Japanaese properly.[ ]
17.Visit a museum.[ ]
18.Visit an art gallery.[ ]
19.Go on a day trip.[ ]
20.Go back to the Isle of Wight.[ ]
21.Throw a party.[ ]
22.Learn to play all of Blue October’s songs.[ ]
23.Paint on one of my massive canvasses.[ ]
24.Buy an old copy of Jane Eyre.[ ]
25.Watch the Lord of the Rings Trilogy back to back (haven’t seen any of them yet…)[ ]
26.Go see a live show.[ ]
27.Officially add in my middle names.[ ]
28.Play a live show.[ ]
29.Adopt an animal.[ ]
30.Make a craft file.[ !!!]
31.Have a 24 hour movie marathon.[ ]
32.Prank someone.[ ]
33.Camp out.[ ]
34.Buy an amazing bikini.[ ]
35. Send my Mum flowers [ ]
36.Visit Stirling courts. [ ]
37. Get a part time job in a coffee shop.[ ]
38.Become a coffee expert[ ]
39.Buy an expensive pair of jeans.[ ]
40. Buy MAC make-up brushes.[ ]
41. Spend the whole day naked.[ ]
42.Sleep under the stars.[ ]
43.Leave someone a note on their windscreen and watch their face as they realise its not a parking ticket…[ ]
44.Watch a sunise.[ ]
45.Watch a sunset.[ ]
46.Take night classes in something.[ ]
47.Not talk for 48 hours.[ ]
48.Write a list of 100 things to do before I die.[ ]
49.Have a successful blog.[ ]
50.Leave a book for someone in public.[ ]
51.Wrie a song.[ ]
52. Go running every day for three months and observe the results.[ ]
53.Buy a different Starbucks every day for a week.
54. Get a different newspaper every day for a week and read it from cover to cover…Times of the Sun anyone?[ ]
55.Try a new type of food.[ ]
56.Throw a dinner party.[ ]
57.Get out of my overdraught![ ]
58.Visit Fern’s flat…well over due![ ]
59.Get a manicure.[ ]
60.Plan a novel.[ ]
61.Have that card sale…[ ]
62.Not get pissed off about something big that happens.[ ]
63.Spend a whole day in a library.[ ]
64.Write a list of 100 things to do when I’m bored.[ ]
65.Train to run for 45 mins without stopping.[ ]
66.Go to a late night movie.[ ]
67.Bake an immense cake.[ ]
68.Have a “slumber party” in the hall and invite everyone.[ ]
69.Have a rainy day shopping day.[ ]
70.Give someone a suprise package.[ ]
71.Finish “Nana” series: reading and buying.[ ]
72.Buy Sea Monkeys [ ]
73. Spend a whole day outside.[ ]
74.Stalk someone with a friend.[ ]
75.Build a blanket fort.[ ]
76.Blow a lot of money at one time on make up.[ ]
77.Buy Ugg boots![ ]
78.Plan Christmas months in advance.[ ]
79.Learn to massage.[ ]
80. Get into reading about 5 different blogs and read them properly.[ ]
81.Complete that damn MCR flash game that I’ve been trying to complete since I was 13.[ ]
82.Spend a whole day at the beach.[ ]
83.Dye my hair blonde.[ ]
84.De-clutter my life.[ ]
85.Get a chinese! Take away, not person.[ ]
86.Learn to play MK Ultra.[ ]
87.Swin in Balintore harbour again.[ ]
88.Climb Arthur’s seat.[ ]
89.Design a stencil.[ ]
90. Pick a religion and live it for a whole month.[ ]
91.Learn to drive.[ ]
92.Train Rowan to jump again.[ ]
93. Ride in the sea: a greater challenge than one might first think![ ]
94.Buy a copy of Metropolis.[ ]
95.Finish whitening my teeth. My secret’s out![ ]
96.Decorate Mikey’s door[ ]
97.Buy and watch the complete Mighty Boosh.[ ]
98.Buy Crumhorn music (don’t ask.)[ ]
99.Learn origami.[ ]
100. Complete this list![ ]

2010 RESOLUTIONS:

1.Give Up Chocolate.
2. At Uni, do at least 2 hours work every day.
3.Eat healthier food and exercise more.
4.Write a journal every day.
5.Save money…
6.Give up pickin’ at my fingers…breaking a life long habit!
7.Have more fun and make more memories.
8.Be more organised and ontop of things.
9.Do something creative every week.
10. Get up earlier every day…

Thought of the week.

Don’t worry about the past: it’s happened and you can’t do anything about it.

Don’t worry about the present: it’s happening, deal with it as it comes.

Don’t worry about the future: nothing can be predicted, everything changes and you have no power over it anyway.

Live in the moment, believe in change,

Peace and Love xx

Initiating Change.

Sometimes in life, we take it upon ourselves to bring about our own change. Change is good after all.

Often however, our brains get caught up in the planning of the change, the nitty gritty rather than actually going out there and being the change!

Ghandi once said “be the change you want to see.”

This could apply of course to the greater world around you, but sometimes you nees to chnage yourself in order to change the world. Be the person you want other people to view you as. It’s all in the mindset and from there on everything else flows.

1. Start to act the way you wish to be seen. You want to be smarter? Cooler? Act as if you are. Believe that you are, and otehrs will see this too. If you have a role model in mind, try adopting one or two of their characteristics.

2. Take on one thing at a time. More that one will confuse you. Start with one and incorporate that before moving on.

3.Put the past behind you. You are no longer that person. The past can only weigh you down. The previous you, is old news. You have nothing to learn from that person. What was meant to be learnt has already be learnt. Give up past regrets and failings. The future is where it’s at!

4.You can be the person you want to be. Nothing is impossible. Think about what it is you actually want.

5.If you are worried aout other people thinking you are “weird” or “uncool” whatever,remember that it’s you who wants to change not them. You should never change for anyone else except yourself. If you feel good wearing new clothes or with new hair, who cares what anybody else thinks? You feeling good is all that matters.

6.Always remember change is a positive thing. It’s the way we move forward and develop. Dealing with change is tough but always remember it’s positive.

7. Perhaps pick up a new characteristic. Changing one small new thing at a time, like start chewing gum or start wearing a signature item like headphones will really make the change feel real. It will make you feel good about yourself.

8. When changing characteristics of yourself that you dont like, start acting the opposite way. Now!!! For example, if you want to be less lazy, get up now and go for a quick walk. If you wish to be a harder worker, take steps to don a little more work today. The key here is to do things gradually, and slowly the rest will come.

9. Do what feels best for you, to be happy within yourself. Never try and change into anything less than better.

10. Try writing things down. People often underestimate the power there is in the act of writing things down. It for one helps engrain things in your head, but will also help organise your thoughts and feelings. Your goals and outcomes will become much clearer. Remember not to “plan” your change too much though. Do what feel and comes naturally.

 

Peace and Love x

Lonely hearts Coffee Shop.

I say “lonely hearts” with a pinch of salt here!

People always underestimate the power of the coffee shop as a tool for self healing.

Personally I find any cute cosy coffee shop, Starbucks included the most fantastic place for slef preservation and discovery. So I found myself passing a local Starbucks outlet the other day with a couple of hours to spare, and seeing as I’d just done well on an essay I thought I’d congratulate myself with one of their Christmas drinks. I walked in, and at first suddenly became painfully consious of the fact I was alone. It’s a pretty small outlet so I could quickly gauge that I was pretty much the only person in the room alone. I got my drink nonetheless and sat down on a sofa. It had been a tough week so I actually found it a nice experience to just sit, with no demands from work, people, whatever. As the time wore on I picked up the newspaper, something I should do far more often to keep in touch with the world around me, and before I knew it an hour had passed. I had completely lost track of time, and the fact I was alone, and had become comfortable with myself and my surroundings.

The next day I returned, armed with trusty book and another £3. It was the nicest feeling just to sit, listen to soft music, drink a comforting drink and read. Just read. Well,. for a while I observed people: much to my interest, today I was not the only one alone. Two other people sat alone also, doing their own thing, but both looking equally content.

The intellectual connotation of a laptop and coffee *sigh.*

It got me thinking. What is it about coffee shops that makes certain people feel better? Feel relaxed and at home? Sure places like Starbucks make good drinks but they also drain you dry! This week I’ve spent nearly £10 in there, a habit I’m sure has to stop!

Perhaps the ambiance of the space, set up obviously to encourage you to stay, but which allows free thinking, freedom to relax, which so often is missing in our busy everyday lives.

Perhaps, the connotations of those “cool” people who “hang”in coffee shops, of the 90′s “Friends” cliche. This is where it’s at.

Perhaps it’s the warmth and comfort that people entering without company can find in discovering they’re not the only one. And for some reason, it’s just acceptable to sit and drink coffee by yourself. You’re allowed to be cool and mysterious in a coffee shop whereas you’d just look odd un a restaurant.

In our modern lives, where social status is almost as important as…well, other very important things, having company is of utmost importance. We must always have someone to talk to, tell things, discuss with.  Being alone is almost pitied or frowned upon. But perhaps in always talking, always telling, we have lost the chance to be ourselves, be alone with ourselves and discover how we really think and feel.

Just a theory.

But try this one thing for me: this week, take an hour out of your day, take a book/work/anything you like and sit for an hour in the comfiest cosiest coffee shop you can find. Treat yourself to the nicest drink you see and relax.

I did this just once, and suddenly felt better.(well after an hour and a toffee nut latte.)

Take time to reflect if you will on what it means to be alone with yourself and happy about it.

Must we always be talking to others? Sometimes it’s okay just top be with yourself.

“I’m just having one of those mornings!”

How many times has someone said this to you? Or have you said to someone else?

I’m going to tell you an exciting trade secret, which could help you rid yourself of “those mornings” for life! Are you ready?

There is no such thing as “One of Those Mornings.”

We all know it feels like that sometimes and today may even be one of those mornings, but actually, it’s all to do with your state of mind.

I mean, it happens to me al the time! The previous day was a particularly bad day, you’ve got a lot of work ahead of you, it’s raining outside…There are countless causes of this horrible predicament.

You’ll wake feeling horrible! Like all you want to do is crawl back into bed! “This day has nothing to offer me!” I hear you cry.

But ask yourself, what do YOU have to offer this day?  Evenn if you make it out of the house to work or whatever,will you be doing much good with a sulky face, or by being closed off?

Start the day with a smile. This is the most imprtant thing you can do! Positive thinking is key here, and it all begins with a beautiful smile. Train your brain into looking forward to day: after all one day has endless possibilities: it’s all about what you choose to do with your day.

If you’re really findingit tough to get going, here are a few simple tricks to try which might help you get on your way.

1. If you have an extensive to-do list, deal with the smallest most insignificant itemm on it first. This could be “do the washing”  or “write to Blair.” whatever it is, start small, and work up.  Every journey starts with the first step right?

2. If you have time, get half an hours exercise in the morning. Again, you may really not want to do it, but I can almost guarantee that little half an hour will wake up your body and mind and get those endorphines flowing!

3.Be thankful for a new day. Without meaning to be too depressing, many people on this morning will not wake up! Their time is up, but yours isn’t! *laugh* Be thankful that you have a whole (or a half)  of a nea day to live and do what you want!

4. If the prospect of too much work is holding you down, remember it’s just part of life. Everybody feels a bit like that sometimes. If your work load is actually ohysically impossible, perhaps it’s time to regroup and have a look at your life. If not, then everything is possible. Focus is key: if you focus on what needs to be done and the task at hand, then you’ll soon be in motion and feeling better.

5.Put on some “get up music.” This could be anything from the happiest, to the loudest to just your favourite kind of music.Get moving ‘n’ grooving…

If the feeling persists, no matter how how you try and break free from it, try talking to someone about it.It could be a problem you yourself were not aware you had, and sometimes talking about it helps. You may realise more than one change needs to be made in your life in order for you to wake up excited to face the day again.Good luck on your journey.x

Dealing with “Butterflies”

Possibly my most hated feeling in the world. With me anything can set them off…I have a nervous dispostition! Feeling uneasy about something you have to do, worrying, going somewhere you don’t want to,exams, stress, uneasieness. It;s different for everybdy yet the feeling is the same. That uneasy fluttering that slowly but uncomfortably escalates into full blown nausea.  There’s no clear cut method to get rid of them, but here are 5 ways of dealing with themm in your day to day life. These techniques could also be used to deal with feelings of stress and anxiety.

1. Close your eyes and take deep breaths. If you’re religious, say a prayer, hope to something, tell yourself that things will be okay: somehting positive. The positive affirmations along with the increased oxygen flow to your head may help improve the feeling.

2.Have something bland to eat and chew on it for a long time. I find plain crackers or oatcakes help. Obviously if the feeling has progressed to nausea, this step isn’t a good idea!

3.Try very very hard not to do anything to progress the feeling. If it’s a thought, try really hard not to think it! Distract yourself with a song or mantra. This sounds easy but by no means is. Hang in there though!

4.Try dealing with whatever it is that’s bothering you. If it’s work worries, go and do some of the said work, even if you’ve been procrastinating for a long time! If it’s performance butterflies, then the above steps should work. Dealing with the problem is the best way of making ti go away!

5.If you can, get some exercise. If you’ve not got long, try jogging on the spot for a minute or two. If you have longer, try and do half and hour-one hour’s running or swimming.

5.

Feeling Blue

Everyone has these days. Currently I’m sat at my desk, it’s ten past four and itr’s dark outside. It’s also pouring with rain. Needless to say my mood is not at it’s best! Here’s my top ten list of things to do when you’re feeling blue.

1.Remember it’s okay to feel blue. And you know what it’s even okay to cry,(yes even men.) Bad days happen. It’s all part of life. Supressing your feelings is only going to make things worse and is by no means a way of dealing with things.  Tears actually contain hormones, so crying is your bodies way of dealing with the excess hormones created from excess stress or sadness. The same applies for happy tears.

2. Try and look after yourself. Cook a special  meal rich in mood boosting foods such as Asparagus, Grapes or Grains such as Oats or Barley products. Try and stay away from the caffene after 3pm. Drinking caffinated drinks after this time will peak you up and then leave you with a nasty slump for the rest of your evening, which is often the time we feel at our worst.

3. Surround yourself with light, especially during the long dark winter months. Add an extra lamp or two to your room. Put on some happy music and try not to let your mind delve into it’s darker depths. Keep busy.

4.If needs be, make  a warm milky drink and curl up with a blanket. Sometimes the only way to get thorugh the feeling is to acknowledge it and for a period of time care for it. It’s a real feeling and although dwelling on it for too long will do no good, sometimes it’s okay just to take things easy and comfort yourself.

5. If you’re feeling lonely, don’t stay that way! Make an effort to go out an meet people. Sitting alone isn’t going to help that feeling. That’s the only advice here I can give. It’s tough but you gotta do what you gotta do.

6.Focus on something. Be it work or a hobby, it’ll keep your mind distracted from any tough feelings you may be having to deal with.

7. Try not to listen to sad music. Trust me from experience, it’ll only deepen your blue feeling. The same applies to angry music. Music has a great impact onour lives, and the simplest act of changing your playlist can make all the difference.

8.Write a list of ten or twenty things you have to be greatful for.  If you’re honestly finding even that hard, start off with”I’m alive!” Many a person is not, so you should be thankful at least for that. Think and meditate on all you have to be thankful for and perhaps take steps to actively appreciate these things. Thank your friends or family members for being there for you; if you have a talent you’re thankful for, honor it, hone it, show yourself what you have and what you are capeable of.

9. Don’t humour the negative thoughts that pop into your head. Immediately replace them with a happy thought. Again, at first this may be reallyhard to do , and those megative thoughts might keep coming back, but if you keep trying over and over again, eventually things will get easier. The negative thoughts will go away.

10.Believe in change! It’s amazing how often change is the major cause of that blue feeling. Sometimes however, we may feel stuck in a rut, blue with our lives, unsure of why we’re still doing whatever. Either way, believe in change. If you’re sad because things have changed, tell yourself that that’s just the way of life, that you have no control over it, and although it may be tough you’ll see it through and be fine at the other end. Of you’re blue because you feel like you’re stuck in a rut, or are unable to dowith your life the things you want to do, believe in change. Change will happen, but ofetn we forget that sometimes we have to be the ones to initiate it. However, believe in it, see it as a possibility and change will come. Nothing is permanent.

 

Peace and Lovex

Getting back out there.

Life is tough. Every day some new issue is thrown our way which we inevitably have to deal with,often by ourselves. Sometimes, that “issue” is so big it knocks us off our feet, and for a few days leaves us feeling a bit like we’re holding our breath under water, struggling along with  no visible means for air.

This post is all about learning to breathe underwater, when life throws something tough our way. It;s so easy to drown, but by learning to breathe, we can get back out there after a tough time, and continue with life, realising that everything WILL be okay. You just have to keep going.

Any questions or comments welcome.

1. As I mentioned before, keep up a routine. Keep doing as much as possible what you previously did. It’ll help your mind stay rooted in something,when it’s so easy to let it float away.

2.Keep telling yourself that everything will be okay, that things will get better. Try  lying down, and doing some breathing exercises when things get a bit too much to handle. It’s okay to cry if you need to, just try and maintain some form of deep breathing pattern. Repeat over and over in your head that things will be okay, they will get better. Firmly believe in it. Do this for at least ten minnutes, get up and drink a glass of water. Then go do something fun!

3. Don’t get too caught up in the details of what’s going on. Chances are involving yourself too much will only make things worse. The Buddhists for example believe that pain and suffering can be diminished and even lost with the removal of the sense of “I.” Remember this is just one event, one issue in the whole of your life. Nothing in life is too difficult to overcome. Remember that there is at least one other person in the world feeling as bad if not worse than you, and chances are you’re not the only one to have gone through what you’re going through. You’re not the only one.

4.Suck it up. Not the greatest advice, but sometimes you feel awful and the last thing you want to do is get back out into the world, yet unfortunately it’s all you can do. It’s no good moping and feeling sorry for yourself. Suck it up, plaster on that big fake smile and get back out there. Soon enough  that fake smile will become real.

5.Surround yourself with people and noise. Don’t mope around feeling blue. This is awfully hard at first but the more you do it the easier it gets and slowly but surely your life will seem better.

Change.

Believe in change.

Recently I’ve come to live by this motto.

It surrounds us every day, we are surrounded by it in every single aspect of life, whether we want it or not.

So why do we shy away from it so much? Even those facing a change for the better fear it and sometimes wish only to stay in their previous predicament.

I congratulate those who initiate change in their lives, it’s not an easy thing to do.

But even if you have been the initiator, or are just a victim of change, it’s a tough thing to deal with. No matter how in control of ourselves we are it can still leave us feeling stranded and alone. Confused! Why must everything change!

Dealing with change will never be easy but hopefully my few insights into dealing with it will give you a helping hand and get you on your way again.

1.You must remember that nothing is certain except change. Even you yourslef and your opinions and feelings will change, even if you don’t want them too. I used to love the sound of chewing. Now it physically repulses me. I wish I culd go back to loving it. Unforunately I can’t! That of course is a minor example, but it just shows how most of our lives are completely out of our control.

2. You will always have yourself. If you didn’t you’de be dead and wouldn’t have to worry about change again! You are the most important person in your life. Learn to love and rely on yourself, and dealing with change will become just one of those things. You’ll learn to regroup, and even though you yourself will change and develop though time, you can at least  rely on yourself to always be there!

3.When facing a great change, try to think of it as a  new oppotunity, new doors are opening. Don’t look into the past. As I mentioned in a previous blog, the past is old news. Jeez who reads old news right? It may be difficult to let it go, but ultimately it’s the future where you’ll be. Not the past. Focus on that, and become excited if you can for all the new things you’ve got to look forward to.

4. Keep an optimistic outlook. Check out the 5AwesomeOptimists on YouTube for help with that! Keep telling yourself, things will get better, things will be great,and they will be! It’s also been proven that those with an optimistic outlook live much longer than those with a pessimistic outlook.

5. Keep up as much of a routine as possible. Say you move, or break up with your partner, or loose your job. Keep doing as much as possible what you ususally do. Don’t let the whole world fall apart around you. If you are in the habit of running, or cooking a proper meal every evening, don’t give that up. Sure everyone slips up and has bad days, but ultimately to keep a routine will make any transition smoother for you.

6.Spend time with other people and distract yourself. Keep your mind busy, don’t focus on the change. The change is going to happen whether you like it or not. To stop your brain from getting forcussed on it, distract it with whatever makes you happy. Go shopping, listen to really loud music, take up an old or new hobby, watch a movie, spend time with friends.

7. Try and change something else small at the same time to again distract you. Give something up, or move your stuff around It will help your brain adjust to the fact that yes, things are changing but yes it’s okay.

8. This will all be a bit tough, but stick it out, and you’ll comeout the other side! It’s okay to have mixed feelings and be confused, especially if you’ve not had to deal with alot of change in the past.  Keep telling yourself everything will be okay, and it will be.

xBelieve in Changex

Uninvolving music…

Break ups. We’ve all been there, feeling shit and that horrible feeling that everything reminds you of what once was. And music can be the worst thing for that: it’s the worst thing in the whole worl for jerking up old memories you thought you’d supressed, and toying with your emotions before throwing them away as you move onto a completely new song.

The best thing to do in these circumstance is to find the most emotionally uninvolving music you can find, preferably something totally new.

Examples of what I’ve found include:

1.The Black Eyed Peas, especially their first two albums Elephunk and Monkey Business. Gotta love them beats.

2.J Pop. Any J Pop, even if you hate it. Men may be a little different in this respect, but stuff like C-ute or Buono are great to block out the rest of the world.

3.I’m actually loving Fall Out Boy right now, particularly Folie A Deux. Not sure why but I find it particularly uninvolving, especially the distort on the guitar. Check out “She’s my Winona,” “Coffee’s for Closers,” and “w.a.m.s.” Let me know if I was wrong about these songs!

4.If you’re looking for a “cheap happy thrill” go listen to Kym Mazelle, Young Hearts Run Free.

5.I found anything with an epic beat is good. Try Pendulum or even Jamiroquia. (Can’s spell.) Beats!

Remember no matter why you’re here, the trick is to keep dancing!